I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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