she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
