We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
