Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
