Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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