Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
