Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
