If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
