I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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