Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She's the barista slut.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
