This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
