escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
