forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
