I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
