I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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