Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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