Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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