I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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