he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
