I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
