I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
