The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
