So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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