Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
