Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
