She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
