Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
