I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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