I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
