My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
