i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
