I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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