Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
