It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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