that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize