your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
