just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
