what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
