hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize