i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
