I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
