Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
