she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
