respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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