in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
