similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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