What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
