I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
