EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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