Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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