U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
